Stop Saying ‘I’m Sorry’ and Start Saying ‘Thank You’: The Power of Micro-Interventions

Elegant thank you card with handwritten purple script and a heart detail.

How many times today have you apologised for something that wasn’t actually a mistake?

"Sorry for the slow reply." "Sorry, can I just squeeze past?" "Sorry, I’m probably overthinking this."

At With You in Mind Counselling in Rustington, we often see how these "reflex apologies" act as a slow leak in our self-esteem. Over time, constant apologising sends a subtle message to our brains that our presence is an inconvenience.

If you are looking for ways to boost your mental wellbeing, you don't always need a life overhaul. Sometimes, the most profound changes come from micro-interventions—small, intentional shifts in how we speak to ourselves and others.

The Linguistic Shift: From Apology to Gratitude

Apologising for your existence or your needs creates a "debt" mindset. You are essentially asking for forgiveness for being a person. By switching your "I'm sorry" to "Thank you," you move from a place of inadequacy to a place of connection and appreciation.

Consider these common swaps:

• Instead of: "Sorry I’m late."

• Try: "Thank you for waiting for me."

• Instead of: "Sorry for rambling."

• Try: "Thank you for listening to me."

• Instead of: "Sorry for being such a burden."

• Try: "Thank you for supporting me through this."

  
  

This simple shift changes the dynamic. Instead of your loved one having to reassure you ("It’s okay, don’t worry"), they get to feel appreciated for their patience or kindness. It validates their effort while preserving your dignity.

Accepting Praise Without Deflection

Many of us in West Sussex are masters of the "modesty deflect." When someone pays us a compliment, we immediately bat it away: "Oh, this old thing? It was a bargain," or "I just got lucky with that project."

Deflecting praise is a way of telling the world—and yourself—that you aren't worthy of positive attention.

The Micro-Intervention: The next time someone gives you a compliment, practice the "Two-Word Technique." Simply say: "Thank you."

You don’t need to justify it, diminish it, or return a compliment immediately out of panic. By sitting with the discomfort of being praised, you are training your brain to accept that you are capable and valued.

The "Success Journal": Recording the Small Wins

Our brains are naturally wired with a "negativity bias." We remember the one thing that went wrong in our day far more vividly than the ten things that went right. To counter this, we recommend starting a Success Journal.

Unlike a standard diary, a Success Journal is strictly for achievements, no matter how small they seem. There is no such thing as an insignificant win.

What to include:

• “I made a difficult phone call I’d been putting off.”

• “I drank enough water today.”

• “I didn't apologise when I asked for a clarification at work.”

• “I took five minutes to sit quietly and breathe.”

Writing these down externalises your competence. On days when your "inner critic" is loud, your Success Journal acts as cold, hard evidence that you are making progress.

Why Micro-Interventions Work

In counselling, we often talk about the "compounding effect." Small changes in language and habit may feel insignificant in the moment, but they build a new internal narrative over time. These tools help you reclaim your space and build a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

If you find yourself struggling with low self-esteem or persistent anxiety, you don’t have to navigate it alone. At With You in Mind, we provide a supportive space in Rustington to help you unpack these habits and find your path to confidence.